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Everyone Says I’m Running Away


Modified: December 28, 2023

by Lesli Isley



Everyone says I’m running away. But am I really? Or am I embarking on an adventure, a journey to find myself and explore new horizons? Leaving behind the familiar can be daunting, but sometimes it’s necessary to break free from the monotony of everyday life and seek out new experiences.


Before making the decision to leave, I had a comfortable routine. I had a stable job, a cozy apartment, and a group of friends I could always count on. But deep down, I felt a longing for something more. I yearned for excitement, for the thrill of stepping into the unknown.


And so, I made the bold choice to pack my bags, leave behind everything familiar, and embrace the uncertainty that lay ahead. It wasn’t an easy decision, but I knew that if I didn’t take this leap of faith, I would always wonder what could have been.


With a sparkle of anticipation in my eyes, I set off on my journey, ready to explore new opportunities and discover hidden gems. I had no specific destination in mind; I simply wanted to immerse myself in different cultures, try exotic cuisines, and meet people from all walks of life.


As I embarked on this adventure, fear and doubt inevitably crept into my mind. What if I couldn’t adapt to new surroundings? What if I encountered challenges I couldn’t overcome? But I quickly realized that these fears were just part of the process. Each step forward pushed me out of my comfort zone, allowing me to grow and learn in ways I never thought possible.


Of course, there were naysayers and critics along the way. Friends and family questioned my decision, labeling it as irresponsible or a sign of discontentment. But I knew that this journey was necessary for my personal growth. I couldn’t let the opinions of others dictate the path I chose to take.


And so, I embraced the change with open arms. I embraced the uncertainties and the challenges that came my way. The more I pushed through my comfort zone, the more I discovered about myself. I realized that I was capable of adapting, of thriving in unfamiliar situations, and of finding joy in the simplest of moments.


Overcoming obstacles became a regular part of this new chapter in my life. From navigating language barriers to figuring out public transportation systems, every challenge was an opportunity for growth. I learned to be resourceful, to be patient, and to embrace the beauty of spontaneity.


But amidst the chaos and the unfamiliar, I also rediscovered a sense of purpose. Traveling opened my eyes to the wonders of the world and the beauty of human connections. I found joy in learning about different cultures, traditions, and ways of life. I realized that by immersing myself in new experiences, I was not only discovering the world but also discovering myself.


As my journey continues, I am filled with gratitude for the decision I made to leave behind the comforts of home. I am grateful for the challenges, the triumphs, and the moments of pure bliss that have shaped me into the person I am today. So, perhaps I’m not running away, but rather running towards a life filled with endless possibilities.


My Life Before

Before I made the life-changing decision to leave everything behind, I was living what many would consider a “normal” life. I had a steady job, a comfortable routine, and a predictable future. But deep down, I felt a nagging sense of dissatisfaction. Something was missing, and I couldn’t ignore it any longer.


My days were filled with the monotony of the nine-to-five grind. I would wake up, go to work, come home, and repeat the cycle the next day. While I was grateful for the stability and security that my job provided, I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to life than this repetitive routine.


The weekends were my only respite, a brief escape from the mundanity of daily life. I would go out with friends, catch a movie, or dine at my favorite local spots. But even these activities began to lose their sparkle. I yearned for something new, something that would ignite a sense of passion and adventure within me.


On the surface, it seemed like I had it all together. My friends and family admired my stable job, my reliable income, and the comfort of my cozy apartment. But behind closed doors, I couldn’t quell the growing restlessness that was gnawing at my spirit.


There were moments of clarity amidst the chaos of my everyday life. I would catch glimpses of the beauty of the world through travel documentaries or inspiring stories shared by friends who had embarked on their own adventures. These moments sparked a flame within me, reminding me that life was meant to be more than just a series of routines.


But fear held me back. Fear of letting go of the familiar, fear of the unknown, and fear of what others would think. What if I failed? What if I couldn’t handle the challenges that would arise? It was these doubts that kept me rooted in my stagnant existence.


But then, something shifted within me. The desire for change became stronger than my fear. I realized that I couldn’t continue living a life that felt incomplete. I needed to step out of my comfort zone, embrace the uncertainties, and discover the vast possibilities that awaited me beyond my familiar surroundings.


The decision to leave everything behind wasn’t made overnight. It was a gradual process of soul-searching and self-reflection. I started evaluating my priorities and what truly mattered to me. The more I delved into these introspective moments, the clearer it became that I needed to follow my heart and embark on a journey of self-discovery.


And so, with a mixture of trepidation and excitement, I made the firm decision to leave my old life behind and begin a new chapter. Little did I know that this choice would awaken a sense of purpose, ignite my passions, and open my eyes to a world of infinite possibilities.


The Decision to Leave

The decision to leave everything behind and embark on a new journey was not one that I made lightly. It was a culmination of emotions, desires, and a deep yearning for change. I knew that in order to truly find myself and discover what I was capable of, I needed to step out of my comfort zone and embrace the unknown.


There were countless factors that influenced my decision. The monotony of my daily routine had become suffocating, and the desire for something more meaningful was consuming me. I craved adventure, personal growth, and the chance to explore the world beyond my familiar surroundings.


I realized that staying within the confines of my comfort zone would only lead to regret and a life of what-ifs. I needed to take a leap of faith and trust that this decision would lead me to greater fulfillment and happiness.


Of course, there were practical considerations to be made. Leaving behind a stable job, friends, and family meant stepping into the unknown with limited financial security. But the prospect of growth and self-discovery outweighed the fear of financial instability.


I began meticulously planning my departure, making financial arrangements, and downsizing my possessions. I wanted to strip away the excess and focus on what truly mattered: my personal journey of self-discovery.


The decision to leave was met with a mix of reactions from those around me. Some applauded my bravery and saw it as a catalyst for change in their own lives. Others expressed concern and questioned the wisdom of such a drastic decision.


But ultimately, it was my intuition that guided me. Deep down, I knew that in order to live a life aligned with my values and passions, I needed to step away from the familiar and embrace the challenges and opportunities that awaited me.


Leaving everything behind was not without its moments of doubt and fear. There were times when I questioned my own judgment and wondered if I was making the right choice. But I realized that growth and transformation often come from stepping into the discomfort and facing our fears head-on.


The decision to leave was not about running away from problems or responsibilities. It was about running towards a life that was more aligned with my authentic self. It was about seeking new experiences, fostering personal growth, and finding a renewed sense of purpose.


And so, with a bag full of dreams and a heart filled with hope, I took that courageous step forward. I left behind the familiar and stepped into a world of uncertainty, knowing that this was the only way I could truly discover my potential and create a life that was both fulfilling and meaningful.


Exploring New Opportunities

Stepping out of my comfort zone and leaving behind the familiar opened a world of endless possibilities. As I embarked on my journey, I was filled with a sense of excitement and anticipation, eager to explore new opportunities that awaited me.


One of the first things I discovered was the joy of meeting people from different walks of life. Every interaction became an opportunity to learn and grow, as I connected with individuals who shared their unique perspectives, experiences, and cultures. From striking up conversations with fellow travelers in hostels to engaging with locals in bustling markets, I found that each encounter enriched my understanding of the world and broadened my horizons.


Traveling also afforded me the chance to immerse myself in diverse landscapes and natural wonders. From pristine beaches and lush jungles to towering mountains and vibrant cityscapes, I marveled at the beauty that surrounded me. Each destination presented its own set of adventures, whether it was hiking to hidden waterfalls, exploring ancient ruins, or indulging in local delicacies.


But it wasn’t just the external opportunities that captivated me. The journey also allowed me to explore new dimensions of myself and discover hidden talents and passions. Freed from the expectations and constraints of my previous life, I had the space and freedom to try new things, such as learning a new language, taking up photography, or even participating in local art workshops. Through these experiences, I unearthed a creative side of myself that had been dormant for far too long.


One of the most rewarding aspects of exploring new opportunities was the chance to challenge myself mentally and emotionally. Facing unfamiliar situations and navigating through the unknown required adaptability and resilience. Whether it was finding my way through unfamiliar cities or figuring out local customs and traditions, every challenge presented an opportunity for growth and personal development.


As I embraced new opportunities, I also discovered the immense power of pushing past my comfort zone. Trying new activities, engaging in solo travel, and opening myself up to new experiences allowed me to overcome fears and limitations. The more I pushed myself, the more I realized the vast potential within me.


Exploring new opportunities also meant reclaiming my time and freedom. No longer bound by a rigid schedule or commitments, I had the autonomy to choose how I spent my days. Whether it was waking up early to catch a sunrise over a stunning landscape or spending an afternoon wandering through the narrow streets of a vibrant city, I relished in the freedom to shape each day according to my own desires.


But perhaps the most profound opportunity that presented itself during my journey was the chance to reconnect with my own inner voice. Removed from the distractions and noise of everyday life, I had the space and silence to reflect, contemplate, and rediscover my true self. It was through this introspection that I gained a deeper understanding of my values, desires, and purpose in life.


Exploring new opportunities was not just about venturing into the external world but also about delving deeper into my own being. It was an opportunity to grow, evolve, and discover the boundless potential that resides within each and every one of us.


Confronting Fear and Doubt

Leaving behind the security and familiarity of my previous life meant confronting a multitude of fears and doubts along the way. It was a journey that required immense courage and resilience as I faced the uncertainties and challenges that awaited me.


One of the biggest fears that surfaced was the fear of the unknown. Stepping into unfamiliar territories, without a set plan or a clear destination, left me feeling vulnerable and uncertain. Doubts crept into my mind, questioning whether I had made the right choice or if I was just fooling myself. But I quickly realized that growth and transformation often arise from stepping outside of our comfort zones and embracing the unknown.


Another fear that I had to confront was the fear of failure. Leaving behind the stability of my previous life meant embracing the possibility that things may not go as planned. The fear of making mistakes or not living up to my own expectations weighed heavily on my mind. However, I soon realized that failure is not something to be feared but rather an opportunity for learning and growth. Each setback and obstacle became a chance to reflect, adapt, and become stronger.


Loneliness and isolation were also fears that I had to confront. Leaving behind the social circles and support systems I had built meant stepping into unfamiliar environments where I had to forge new connections. There were moments of solitude and homesickness, but through these experiences, I discovered the strength and resilience within myself to navigate the challenges that come with being in unfamiliar territory.


Self-doubt became a constant companion on this journey. As I confronted new situations and pushed myself out of my comfort zone, the nagging voice of self-doubt would often creep in. It questioned my abilities, my worthiness, and my capacity to handle whatever came my way. But I learned to counter those doubts with self-compassion and remind myself of the bravery it took to embark on this journey.


Confronting fear and doubt was an ongoing process. It required constant self-reflection and the willingness to challenge my own limiting beliefs. It also required surrounding myself with supportive individuals who believed in me and encouraged my growth.


Each time I confronted a fear and pushed through the doubts, I emerged stronger and more resilient. I began to realize that fear and doubt are natural parts of any journey towards personal growth and self-discovery. They are not obstacles to avoid, but rather opportunities for courage and growth.


As I continued to confront my fears and doubts head-on, I learned to trust myself and my abilities. I discovered that I was capable of navigating through the challenges, adapting to new situations, and finding joy in the midst of uncertainty. I began to embrace the unknown, knowing that it is in those moments of uncertainty that the most profound growth can occur.


Confronting fear and doubt became a catalyst for personal transformation. It allowed me to shed my old limitations and step into a new version of myself – one that is courageous, resilient, and unafraid of taking risks. Through this process, I realized that true growth and fulfillment lie just beyond the boundaries of fear and doubt. And by embracing them, I was able to unlock a world of endless possibilities.


Naysayers and Critics

When I made the decision to leave everything behind and embark on a new journey of self-discovery, it was not met with unanimous support. I encountered a range of reactions, from genuine concern to outright criticism, from those who doubted the wisdom of my choice.


Family members and close friends, while well-intentioned, expressed their concerns about the risks involved. They worried about my financial stability, the challenges I might face, and the potential for me to regret my decision. Their words came from a place of love and concern, but it was important for me to differentiate between their fears and my own desires. I listened to their opinions, but ultimately, I had to follow my own path.


There were also those who criticized my decision, labeling it as irresponsible or a form of escapism. They believed that by leaving behind the stability and routine of my previous life, I was running away from my responsibilities or hiding from the difficulties of adulthood. It was challenging to face this judgment, as I questioned my own motives and wondered if they were right. However, I realized that their criticisms were more a reflection of their own fears and limitations than a true reflection of my journey.


In the face of naysayers and critics, I learned the importance of cultivating a strong sense of self-belief. I had to trust my instincts, honor my desires, and stay true to my own values and aspirations. It required resilience and a willingness to stand firm in the face of skepticism and doubt.


It was also crucial for me to surround myself with a support system of like-minded individuals who understood and encouraged my aspirations. I sought out fellow travelers, joined online communities, and connected with people who shared similar dreams and journeys. These connections provided me with the validation and encouragement I needed, reminding me that I was not alone in pursuing a life of adventure and self-discovery.


While the opinions of others certainly had an impact on me, I realized that I couldn’t let them define my journey. I had to trust my own path and believe in the power of personal growth and transformation. It was a reminder that not everyone will understand or support the choices we make, and that’s okay. The only validation I needed was my own.


Naysayers and critics can serve as a reminder of the challenges we may face on our journey, but they should not deter us from pursuing our dreams. It is important to stay focused on our own vision and to surround ourselves with positivity and support. By doing so, we can rise above the doubts and criticisms, and prove to ourselves that embracing a life of exploration and self-discovery is a courageous and worthwhile endeavor.


Finding My True Self

Embarking on a journey of self-discovery allowed me the space and freedom to peel back the layers that had accumulated over the years, revealing my true self beneath. It was a transformative process of exploration and introspection that guided me towards uncovering my authentic desires, values, and passions.


As I traveled to new places, encountered different cultures, and engaged in new experiences, I found myself shedding the expectations and labels that had been imposed upon me. The pressures of society, the expectations of others, and my own self-imposed limitations began to fade away, giving way to a deeper understanding of who I truly am.


The journey allowed me to reconnect with my passions – those forgotten pursuits that had taken a backseat in the busyness of my previous life. I found joy in simple pleasures, such as painting, writing, and immersing myself in nature. These activities reignited a fire within me and reminded me of the things that bring me true happiness.


Exploring new places and engaging with diverse cultures also sparked self-reflection. I questioned my beliefs, biases, and preconceived notions, challenging myself to embrace different perspectives. By stepping into the shoes of others, I gained a deeper understanding of myself and the interconnectedness of humanity.


Through moments of solitude and introspection, I discovered the power of self-acceptance and self-love. I recognized that I am inherently worthy and deserving of happiness and fulfillment, regardless of external achievements or societal expectations. Embracing my true self meant embracing all aspects of who I am – the strengths, the weaknesses, and the vulnerabilities.


Finding my true self was not a linear journey. There were moments of confusion, doubt, and even setbacks along the way. But with each obstacle I encountered, I learned to face them with resilience and self-compassion. I recognized that growth and self-discovery are not always easy or straightforward, and that the true rewards often come from the challenges we overcome along the way.


The process of finding my true self was also about letting go of the need for external validation. I learned to trust my own intuition and follow the path that resonated with me, rather than seeking approval or acceptance from others. It was liberating to realize that my worthiness and identity are defined by my own standards, not by external validation.


As I slowly uncovered my true self, I began to embody a sense of authenticity and alignment with my values. I learned to make choices that reflected my innermost desires and to set boundaries that honored my needs and well-being. This newfound self-awareness allowed me to cultivate more meaningful relationships and pursue endeavors that aligned with my passions and purpose.


Finding my true self was not an endpoint, but rather an ongoing journey of growth and self-discovery. It was about continuously learning, evolving, and staying true to who I am at my core. By embracing my true self, I have opened the door to a life of authenticity, joy, and fulfillment.


Embracing Change

One of the key lessons I learned on my journey of self-discovery was the importance of embracing change. Leaving behind the familiar and venturing into the unknown required a willingness to adapt, a mindset of flexibility, and a deep understanding that change is an inevitable part of personal growth and transformation.


Change can be both exciting and terrifying. It brings with it a sense of uncertainty and the need to let go of what is familiar and comfortable. However, it is through change that we find new opportunities, challenge ourselves, and unlock our full potential.


Embracing change meant letting go of my attachment to outcomes and surrendering to the ebb and flow of life. It meant releasing the need for control and trusting that the universe would guide me on the right path. This allowed me to approach each moment with a sense of curiosity and openness, ready to embrace whatever came my way.


Throughout my journey, I encountered unexpected turns, detours, and even moments of failure. But instead of letting these setbacks discourage me, I chose to view them as opportunities for growth and learning. I understood that in order to evolve, I needed to embrace change and see it as a catalyst for personal development.


Embracing change also required me to challenge my own limiting beliefs and step outside of my comfort zone. It meant confronting fears and doubts head-on, knowing that true growth lies just beyond their boundaries. By willingly embracing discomfort and pushing myself to try new things, I discovered a newfound sense of resilience and adaptability.


Change also allowed me to redefine my priorities and values. I gained a clearer understanding of what truly mattered to me and what I wanted to prioritize in my life. It gave me the courage to let go of what no longer served me and embrace new opportunities that aligned with my authentic self.


As I embraced change, I also experienced a shift in my perspective. I learned to find beauty and gratitude in the present moment, realizing that change is a constant and that every experience is fleeting. This mindset allowed me to savor each experience and fully immerse myself in the journey, rather than constantly yearning for the next destination.


Embracing change wasn’t always easy. There were moments of doubt, moments when I longed for the familiarity of my old life. But by staying open to the possibilities and embracing each change as an opportunity for growth, I was able to navigate through the challenges and emerge stronger on the other side.


Ultimately, embracing change transformed my perspective on life. It taught me to welcome the unknown, to embrace uncertainty, and to trust in the process of growth and transformation. I now embrace change as an integral part of my journey, knowing that it is through change that I continue to evolve, learn, and become the best version of myself.


Overcoming Obstacles

As I embarked on my journey of self-discovery, I encountered various obstacles that tested my resilience and determination. These challenges were not roadblocks meant to deter me, but rather opportunities for growth and learning. Through perseverance and a steadfast mindset, I was able to overcome these obstacles and emerge stronger than ever before.


One of the main obstacles I faced was the language barrier. Traveling to different countries meant encountering unfamiliar languages and communication barriers. It was daunting at first, but I quickly learned to embrace the challenge. I enrolled in language classes, used translation apps, and immersed myself in local culture, gradually breaking down the language barrier and forming connections with people from different backgrounds.


Another obstacle I encountered was navigating through unfamiliar territories. I found myself in bustling cities with complex public transportation systems, winding streets without clear signposts, and new cultural norms to navigate. It required patience, resourcefulness, and a willingness to ask for help. Each hurdle I faced became an opportunity to develop problem-solving skills and adapt to new environments.


Loneliness was also an obstacle that I had to overcome. Leaving behind my support system meant experiencing moments of solitude and homesickness. However, I soon realized that loneliness can be approached as an opportunity for self-reflection and introspection. I focused on building connections with fellow travelers, engaging in activities I enjoyed, and embracing alone time as an opportunity for personal growth.


Financial constraints were yet another obstacle that I had to navigate. Leaving behind a stable job meant managing my finances wisely and being resourceful with my budget. I learned to prioritize experiences over material possessions and sought out affordable accommodations and transportation options. Through creative budgeting and a willingness to adapt, I was able to sustain my journey without compromising on the depth of my experiences.


Adaptability was a crucial skill I cultivated in order to overcome these obstacles. I realized that flexibility and openness to change were paramount in navigating the unexpected twists and turns of my journey. Whether it was adjusting to different cultural norms, dealing with transportation delays, or confronting unforeseen challenges, I embraced the notion that setbacks were merely detours leading me towards new opportunities.


Throughout my journey, I also discovered the importance of self-belief and resilience. There were moments when self-doubt crept in, questioning my abilities and perseverance. However, through determination and a positive mindset, I overcame these doubts and pushed forward, reminding myself of the strength within me.


Support from like-minded individuals was also instrumental in overcoming obstacles. Surrounding myself with a community of fellow travelers and friends who shared similar experiences allowed me to draw strength and inspiration. Together, we shared tips, resources, and encouragement, creating a support system that helped me tackle even the most daunting of challenges.


Each obstacle I encountered on my journey became an opportunity for personal growth, resilience, and self-discovery. Through perseverance, adaptability, and a commitment to my own growth, I was able to overcome these hurdles and emerge stronger and more resilient. As I look back on my journey, I am grateful for the obstacles I faced, as they have shaped me into the person I am today.


Rediscovering Purpose

Stepping out of my comfort zone and embarking on a journey of self-discovery allowed me to rediscover my sense of purpose. It was a transformative experience that led me to question the status quo and explore what truly drives me in life.


In my previous life, I had lost sight of my true purpose. I was caught up in the daily grind, going through the motions without a clear sense of direction. But as I ventured into the unknown, I began to reflect on my passions, values, and the impact I wanted to make on the world.


Experiencing different cultures and engaging with diverse communities helped me gain a new perspective. Witnessing the struggles and triumphs of individuals from different backgrounds inspired me to take action and make a difference. I realized that my purpose wasn’t just about my own personal fulfillment but about how I could contribute to the greater good.


The journey also allowed me to tap into my talents and explore new interests. As I engaged in creative pursuits and challenged myself intellectually, I discovered hidden passions and skills that I never knew existed within me. This exploration reignited a fire within me and provided a sense of purpose and fulfillment.


Connecting with like-minded individuals on my journey further fueled my sense of purpose. I encountered individuals who dedicated their lives to meaningful causes, whether it was environmental conservation, community development, or social justice. Their passion and commitment served as an inspiration, igniting a desire within me to contribute in my own unique way.


Rediscovering purpose wasn’t just about finding a grand mission, but also about infusing purpose into everyday moments. It was about finding joy in simple acts of kindness, cultivating meaningful relationships, and living authentically. It was about recognizing that every action, no matter how small, can make a positive impact.


Throughout my journey, I also learned the importance of aligning my actions with my values. I began to make choices that were in line with what truly mattered to me, whether it was supporting local businesses, practicing sustainable habits, or promoting equality and inclusivity. These conscious choices grounded me in my sense of purpose and gave meaning to my actions.


Rediscovering purpose allowed me to find a deeper sense of fulfillment and contentment. It gave me a compass to navigate my journey and make choices that brought me closer to my true self. It became a guiding force in my life, providing clarity and direction even amidst uncertainty.


However, I also recognized that purpose is not a destination that once found, remains unchanged. It is a fluid and evolving aspect of our lives. As I continue to grow and learn, my sense of purpose may shift and expand. It is an ongoing process of introspection, self-reflection, and aligning my actions with my values.


Rediscovering purpose allowed me to live a life of intention, passion, and fulfillment. It gave me a renewed sense of drive and motivation, making each day more meaningful. I am grateful for the journey that led me to this rediscovery and the impact it has had on shaping my path forward.



The decision to leave behind the familiar and embark on a journey of self-discovery was one of the most transformative experiences of my life. Through the ups and downs, the triumphs and challenges, I found not only a greater understanding of the world around me but also a deep connection with my true self. It was a journey of personal growth, resilience, and purpose that has shaped me into the person I am today.


Leaving behind the comforts of my previous life allowed me to step out of my comfort zone and embrace the unknown. It was a leap of faith that led me to discover new opportunities, explore different cultures, and confront my fears and doubts. Through it all, I learned the power of resilience, adaptability, and self-belief.


Along the way, I encountered naysayers and critics, but their doubts and judgments served as reminders of my own strength and determination. I realized that the most important validation comes from within, and that staying true to myself is essential in living a fulfilled and authentic life.


Through the process of self-discovery, I found my true passions and talents, embracing change and learning to adapt in the face of uncertainty. I confronted obstacles with resilience and perseverance, discovering that every challenge is an opportunity for growth and learning. The journey allowed me to redefine my priorities, align my values, and live a life that is more intentional and meaningful.


Rediscovering my sense of purpose was a transformative aspect of my journey. It became a guiding force in navigating my path, bringing fulfillment and a sense of direction to my life. I learned that purpose is not a destination but an ongoing journey of self-reflection, aligning my actions with my values, and making a positive impact on the world around me.


As I reflect on the incredible experiences, the personal growth, and the deep connections I made along the way, I am filled with gratitude. The journey has shown me the beauty of the world, the resilience of the human spirit, and the endless possibilities that lie beyond our comfort zones.


While the decision to leave everything behind may have seemed like running away to some, it was truly a courageous step towards embracing a life of exploration and self-discovery. It was a journey that allowed me to find my true self, to challenge societal expectations, and to live authentically.


As I continue on this ongoing journey of self-discovery, I carry with me the lessons learned, the memories cherished, and the belief that we are capable of creating a life filled with passion, purpose, and fulfillment. It is through embracing the unknown, stepping out of our comfort zones, and staying true to ourselves that we can truly find the extraordinary in the ordinary.